Of ‘Marriage’ and ‘Singlehood’

We met after exactly four months. Last time I saw her, she looked fresh like a juicy apple, her cheeks glowed and her smile never faded. Now, she had that same rosiness, but there was something about that smile- it looked more tired.

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon. I took bath in a hurry and ran to the Marine Lines station with my hair dripping wet. She stood on the main road looking for me. Her eyes pressed into a thin crease as she strained against the sun overhead. Then her eyes fell on me, and she smiled automatically. I walked faster and smiled in response. Her smile had always been infectious. When I reached her, we did not hug or exclaim loudly. We just smiled, exchanged a “hello” and I took her large handbag and we set off walking again, back to my house.

That was our friendship. My childhood friend and me- we never expressed our love for one another, never bought fancy gifts for birthdays, and never remained in close contact like besties do. But, we still shared a bond in which we shared everything the moment we got down together.

Earlier our talks used to be of college, parents, studies, shopping, latest fashion and movies. Mostly we shared our world on either her or my scooty- a vehicle that provided us the time to sit and ride wherever we wanted. This Sunday things were different. She was a married pregnant woman and I was a stressed out college student. We did share everything yet again, but, on my bed and not on my pearl silver scooty.

She is one and a half years older than me. But I never felt any age difference throughout our childhood or adolescence. That age gap only broadened dramatically when she got married in October last year. I realized this the moment we started talking. I asked her about her life and she set off to describe the intricacies of a married life. She lives with her husband and in-laws and is still coping up with the hectic lifestyle that Mumbai presents. Her days are spent doing housework, and when dusk approaches she waits for her husband to return. She has been thinking of doing some job in order to contribute her share in the family’s budget. But with her pregnancy, she knows she has to wait for a long time before she can realize her dream.

Her thin body has been bearing a seedling since four month. This February, she’ll be five months pregnant. I felt weird. My stupid college talks and assignments seemed meager in front of her family plans and pregnancy talks. She spoke about how she had sudden urges to eat chocolates and how sometimes she felt instantaneous hatred towards a food item. “That happens”, she said and I nodded. It all went beyond my level of understanding. I obviously have never tasted such an experience and watching my friend go through it felt as if it’s me whose experiencing the joy of bearing a child.

We spoke for hours about mundane issues and it registered how matured our talks had become. From movies to silly crushes, we have now moved on to another level. Our talks lingered on future job plans and busy lifestyle, pressure on our heads and our efforts to cope up with them, current news and its impact on the society. Who thought two silly girls would grow up to share the contrast that they share? While one is a happy satisfied housewife, the other is a busy diploma student. While one is worried about maintaining the monthly budget, the other is spending carelessly on shopping. While one is about to become a mother, the other is in the process of hunting for a job.

Our lives were so similar previously, now they are poles apart.

But when I think now, I’m glad we still share the same old bond of friendship! I’ve learned lessons from her that no un-married friend could have taught- that is selflessness and devotion to your own family.